


Vows

by HawthorneWhisperer



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Ficlet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-25 22:21:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6212416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HawthorneWhisperer/pseuds/HawthorneWhisperer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raven and King Roan help each other rebuild after the destruction of ALIE.  Canon divergent AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter originally published as chapter 66 of The Dropship.

Leaving the City of Light the first time was the most painful thing Raven had ever experienced— worse than being shot, worse than laying in the dropship dying alone, worse than surgery without anesthesia.

But leaving it the second time damn near killed her.

They thought something like this would happen.  That’s why she stood a safe distance from ALIE’s base while the Ice King snuck in and blew it to hell— Abby had warned her she might pass out from the shock.  Raven had argued for going in herself, because really, who would give a damn if she didn’t make it out, but Clarke had refused and she was calling the shots so there Raven was, standing on a hill overlooking the mansion, wondering if she’d explained everything well enough to Roan for him to find the main server.

They had spent two days together on the march to the compound while Raven explained every detail of the plan until Roan could recite it back to her perfectly.  He didn’t know what anything was, which oddly made it easier than talking Bellamy through disabling the acid fog.  Bellamy knew just enough to be confused, but for the Ice King it was a blank slate.

A blank slate, smart, and just handsome enough to get on her nerves.  He’d been amused by her annoyance from the moment they met, never quite baiting her but skirting the line with the air of a man who relished her anger.  Every conversation between them was laced with barbs and sarcasm, and he never backed down when she pushed.  He met every challenge she threw at him with easy grace and a knowing smirk.

She didn’t _like_ the bastard, but she was sort getting sort of fond of him.

In a way.

She heard a distant rumble and the roof of ALIE’s mansion shook.   _He did it,_ she thought, a fierce surge of pride swelling in her chest, but then lightning crackled down her spine and she collapsed, pain chasing more agony through her nerves.  Her vision wavered.  It was every pain she’d ever felt happening all at once, and the ground beneath her cheek started to shake before she felt nothing at all.

Raven briefly came to, her body jouncing limply over someone’s shoulder.  Her head bobbled in time with her rescuer’s strides, her muscles too weak to hold it in place.  An odd part of her wanted to laugh— here she was, being rescued by a king (how she knew it was him, she never quite figured out), but instead of him tenderly carrying her like a bride across a threshold the way men like him always did in stories, Roan had her slung over his shoulder like a piece of meat.

Somehow, it was fitting.

The next time she opened her eyes she was in a wagon, covered under a heavy pile of furs.  Even still she shivered, although the sun was bright and part of her recognized that the air was soft and warm.  A woman walked next to her— Ice Nation, judging by the scars— and noticed her waking up.   _“Haihefa!"_ she yelled, and then Roan materialized on a horse next to her, looking down with interest.  He pointed to the side and the wagon moved out of the way of traffic, rolling to a stop, and he swung down.

Raven tried to push herself up but every part of her screamed in pain.  “Careful,” he said lowly.  “You’re hurt.”  His light blue eyes bore a look of concern, which would have made her laugh if she wasn’t in so much agony.  

“That’s not news,” she grumbled.  “What happened?”

The corner of his mouth quirked up.  “We won, but the loss of the chip is causing side effects.  Abby Griffin wants you back in Arkadia.  Nothing permanent, but you appear to have a hard time staying awake.”

“Clarke?”  She was their decoy, keeping Red’s attention within the City Of Lights while they attacked from the outside.

“Alive, but— like you.  Everyone who took the chip is affected.”

Raven looked around, but all she saw were Ice Nation warriors.  No other wagons, no other wounded.  “Where are they?”

“We’re all going back to Arkadia.”  His gaze raked up and down her body, like he was looking for a pool of blood.  “I found you, so you’re my guest.  I’m taking you home, my lady.  I promise.”

Exhaustion covered her like a blanket.  “Promise?”

“You have my word.”

His vow was the last thing she heard before she passed out again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An anon requested ice mechanic + forehead kiss.

_I bequeath myself to the dirt to grow from the grass I love._

The words filtered through to her consciousness, a low purr that felt like being wrapped in a blanket.  Raven could hear other noises too, people murmuring quietly and sheets rustling.  But mostly, she just heard the night-dark voice.  She was too tired to open her eyes so instead she listened, letting the words burrow under her skin.

_If you want me again look for me under your boot-soles._

Someone lifted her wrist to take her pulse, cool, thin fingers that pressed her veins.  A woman’s hand, she thought, but when the woman left it was a hand ridged with callouses that moved her arm under the blanket again, tucking it securely around her so no errant cold breeze could make its way in.

_You will hardly know who I am or what I mean,_

_But I shall be good health to you nevertheless,_

_And filter and fiber your blood._

Someone spoke nearby, a growl that seemed half-familiar.  The man nearest her answered, equally gruff, and then footsteps faded away.

_Failing to fetch me at first keep encouraged,_

_Missing me one place search another,_

_I stop somewhere waiting for you._

A pause, then the sound of a book closing.  A chair creaked and a shadow fell across her face.   _Reshop, ai haiplana.  Reshop,_  he whispered, and then lips were pressed to the crease between her brows.  It was quick, no more than a brush of lips to skin, and then he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Poem is from Walt Whitman’s Song of Myself. Trigedasleng translations from Trigedasleng.info.)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rumaan requested Bellamy warning Roan about treating Raven well (aka "the shovel talk.) It's really just Bellamy being an overprotective bear about Raven, but I hope it suffices.

Abby wouldn’t let her leave the med bay— or what was med bay now, but had been the rover hanger before— for two full days after she came out of it.  The hanger was filled with bodies in various states of consciousness, remnants of ALIE’s demise.  “Be back in three hours,” Abby ordered when she finally let Raven out of bed.  “I don’t want you overdoing it.”

Raven rolled her eyes but promised to be back and headed out into the halls.  They were packed with Grounders and Arkadians alike but she soon found Monty for an explanation.  “The Council wants a treaty with each Clan individually.  They don’t trust that the Coalition can hold without ALIE.  Or Lexa, I suppose,” he said.  “Since she was...both?”

Honestly, Raven still didn’t give a damn about Grounder politics, so she shrugged.  “So Ice Nation is still here?”

Monty gave her an odd look.  “Haven’t left,” he said.  “I thought you knew that.”

“How’s Clarke?” she pressed, ignoring his weirdness.

“Pretty bad,” he admitted.  “Her mom says she’ll pull through, but...it’s rough.”

They stepped aside and let a troop of Grounder warriors pass.  “So where’s Ice Nation staying?”

“Near the eastern wall.  Why?”

“Roan saved my ass.  Wanted to thank him before he leaves.”

“Should be easy enough to find.”  Monty gave her that strange look again and turned toward Engineering.

She found Roan’s door quickly— no one else had two armed guards standing outside— but the long, lean woman with a sword shook her head when Raven approached.  “He’s busy,” she informed her.  “You wait.”

Raven considered just pushing past, but the voice that drifted through the door stopped her in her tracks. 

“What are you doing?” Bellamy asked.  She could practically hear him crossing his arms in an attempt to look threatening.

“Negotiating a peace treaty with your chosen council,” Roan replied evenly.  Raven stifled a laugh.  Bellamy had not been happy with her working closely with Roan before and clearly, his resentment was lingering.

“With her,” Bellamy replied.  “What are you doing with  _ her. _ ”

“I assume you mean Lady Raven.”  Roan’s guard flicked her eyes towards Raven and she felt a blush rise on her neck.

Bellamy snorted at that.  “Yeah.   _ Lady  _ Raven.”

“I told you the other night.  I read to her.”

“You read to her.  Why?”

“Because she was under my protection and now she’s injured.”

Bellamy huffed in anger and Raven threw caution to the wind and pushed past the guards.  “Hi Roan; Bellamy,” she said brightly.  Roan waved off his guards while Raven took in the fact that he’d apparently been having this fight with Bellamy while shirtless.  That was...distracting.  She gathered herself and looked at Bellamy, who appeared miserable.  “Thanks for defending my honor, Bell, but I was hoping to talk to him before Abby drags me back to med bay.”

Bellamy threw Roan another glare and left, leaving her suddenly unsure of what to say.  “I’m glad to see you up and about, my lady,” Roan said, tugging on a tunic.

That made it easier to talk.  “You came to visit me?”

“I’ll stop, if that’s what you’d prefer,” he said courteously.

“No, I just— I just wanted to say thank you.”  She decided not to address the whole  _reading poetry_ thing because that made her stomach do something it hadn’t done in a long time.  “For bringing me back.  For— for taking care of me.”

His eyes found hers and there was no trace of amusement or mockery in them.  “It was my pleasure, Raven.”

**

The Ice Nation departed the next morning at dawn.  Roan had come again that night, reading more poetry-- _ fucking poetry _ — in that dark, quiet voice she’d come to associate with safety.  She was awake but pretended not be, letting the words wash over her until she did slip away.  Abby released her from med bay the next morning to say good bye, with only a minor amount of raised eyebrows at her request.  Bellamy came to stand next to her in the clearing before the gates while Roan’s warriors mounted their horses.

Roan noticed her and a smile spread across his face, slow and deliberate.  “Your people have agreed to send us a delegation this summer to improve our technology,” he said as he approached.

“Improve?  You don’t even have radios,” she scoffed.

His smile deepened.  “Then we have a lot of improvements to make.”  To her left, Bellamy made an annoyed sound.

Raven ignored him. “This your way of asking me to come save your ass again?”

“Will you?” he challenged.

“I’ll talk to my warden; see what I can do,” Raven said, returning his smile.

Unexpectedly, Roan took her hand, kissing her knuckles with an elegant bow.  “I hope to see you soon,  _ ai haiplana, _ ” he said quietly.

“What does that mean?” she called after him as he walked back to his horse.  Her smile was threatening to split her face in two— something that had seemed impossible just a few weeks ago.

Roan waved but didn’t respond, shouting to his warriors to form up and leading them out of the gates.

“Do you not know?” Bellamy asked as they watched them leave.  “What he calls you, I mean.”

“I don’t speak Grounder,” she pointed out.  “So?  What does it mean?”

Bellamy’s jaw ticked and he swallowed.  “Queen.  He’s calling you his queen.”

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marycontrary82 wanted Roan wooing Raven by sending her her enemies in boxes. That's not *quite* what happens here, but it's close.

Their delegation to Azgeda arrived on a cool day in mid summer.  Arkadia had been roasting when they left and Raven was pleasantly surprised to find Azgeda didn’t have the same broiling climate.  The winters were probably terrible, but at least the summers didn’t suck.  Roan met them in the courtyard with his advisors, inclining his head in a polite greeting.  At first Raven thought perhaps she had been mistaken, that Roan had not requested her presence in the delegation, but once they had been shown to their quarters and servants appeared to help her bathe (she was weirded out by that but at the same time, it was kind of nice) they were ushed down to a feast given in their honor.

It was after the food had been cleared away and the revelers began to dance that he sought her out.  “How was your journey, my lady?” he asked, coming to stand near her as she leaned with her back to a wall, watching her people dance.  It was nice to see them happy again.

She wanted to laugh at his formality, but for some reason she didn’t.  “Went quick.  No problems,” she said with a shrug.  

“I’ve missed you,” he said, leaning close so his breath stirred the hair near her ear.

“You have?  Hmm.  Well, I didn’t miss you, so...” she teased.  She took a sip of wine and kept her eyes on the dancers while his eyes tracked up and down her body.

“I think you’re lying,” he rejoined.  “I think you’ve missed me so much you almost went mad, wanting me that much.”

_ That  _ certainly got her attention.  “You talk a good game, don’t you?”

“I do more than talk.”

“Prove it,” she said, sliding her eyes over to meet his.  They were burning into her, his jaw tight. 

She nodded and he lead them out of the ballroom.  Raven assumed they would go to her rooms--she wasn’t sure what the protocol was when the king wanted to bang a random member of an allied delegation-- but he lead her through the winding, torchlit hallways to his rooms instead.

He was on her the second the door swung shut behind them, kissing her roughly and pinning her to the wall.  Raven responded in kind, clawing at his clothes and daring him to the do the same to her.

There was nothing gentle about his movements and nothing tender about hers.  They clashed and sparred and challenged until she was coming apart in his hands with a cry and he was letting himself go inside of her, whispering  _ ai haiplana  _ in her ear..

**

“Wait, you sent him to  _ Clarke?  _ In a  _ box? _ ” Raven laughed.  She was sitting with her back against his headboard, a goblet of wine clutched in her hand that sloshed dangerously as she laughed.  She’d been in Azgeda for over a month, in Roan’s bed nearly every night.

It was, quite frankly, great.  She spent her days teaching his people the basics of creating a power grid and her nights screwing his brains out, and no one had tried to kill her or brainwash her the entire time.  Work, sex, enough to eat— she could almost forget all the awfulness that came before.

Roan was sprawled out on his stomach beside her.  He lifted his head and laughed, a rare sound that few knew how to create except for her.  “He was a gift.  And the box was plenty big enough.”

“You’re such a gentleman,” she cackled.  “How come you haven’t sent me any of my enemies in a box?”

“Name them.  I’ll have the boxes made,” he declared.

“Okay, let me think,” she said, gesturing with the wine.  It slopped out of the rim and splashed her hand.  Dark red rivulets flowed down her arm and Roan reached out to take her wrist, catching the drops with his tongue.  He sucked her fingers clean and she leaned down to kiss him, and then she forgot about her enemies and boxes entirely.

**

She was in the southern quarter of the city the next day, in a dark room trying to get a generator working when the box arrived.  She recognized the palace guards— Roan’s personal guards, actually— and eyed the box almost warily.  It was too small to hold a human but it was moving, emitting little snuffling noises and whines.  The guards left without a word, so Raven was forced to open the box by herself.  She raised the lid gingerly and a ball of white and silver fluff exploded out at her, making her shriek and take a few steps back.

Roan appeared a few hours later when her little fluff ball had worn itself out and was sleeping on her workbench, still making those snuffling noises and whines in his sleep.  “Do you like it?” Roan asked, leaning against the door jamb.

“Shh.  Tes is sleeping,” she admonished.

“You know Tes is a boy, right?” he asked, amused.

“His name is Tesla, and yes.  But I had to bribe a passing kid to tell me because how the hell should I know?  Next time, send a note.  But what was he for?”

Roan scooped Tesla up and the puppy gave his cheek a sleepy lick.  “I can’t send you your enemies in a box, but I can provide protection for you,” he said.

“Protection?  You think that little thing is going to protect me?  What's he going to do, lick them to death?”

“They grow to almost the size of wolves.  Azgeda is known for our dogs,” he said proudly.  “You train him, he’ll rip out the throat of anyone who dares raise a hand against you.”

Raven stole her dog back and buried her nose in his soft white fur.  “Will you?” she asked Tesla in that stupid high pitched voice that she’d somehow adopted since opening the box.  “Will you kill my enemies, Tesla?”

Roan looked her in the eye.  “If I can’t be around to protect you, he will.  He’s my gift to you.”

Her stomach flip flopped at Roan’s implications— both that he wanted to protect her, and that he might not be there to do so.  She hadn’t really thought about the future, too caught in her bubble of happiness that involved good work and good sex.  But the delegation was due to leave in early September, before the winter snows set in up in the mountain passes.  At first that had seemed ages away but now it loomed large, closer than she’d like.  And even if she didn’t leave, what did she think would happen?  She’d marry him and become Queen of the Ice Nation?  They’d never accept her, and it would mean leaving everyone she loved behind.

This was it— all they would get.  And it was going to end.

Tesla wriggled in her arms and she set him down to gambol happily around their ankles.  She took Roan’s face in her hands, her thumbs brushing over the scars that curved from his cheekbones.  “Thank you,” she whispered.  She suddenly didn’t trust her voice so she kissed him instead, softer than usual, a gentle press of lips instead of their normal clash of teeth and tongue.  “Thank you,” she said again, and let him pull her against his chest.

“You’re welcome,” he said, just as quietly, and she knew his fears were the same.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr ate the prompt, but electricbluebutterflies (I think?) requested Ice Mechanic and and eyelid kiss.

A brisk breeze blew in through the window and ruffled the papers on Raven’s workbench.  Schematics for a power plant drifted to the ground and she swore, hurrying over to grab it before Tesla tried to eat it.  She stared down at the plans in frustration— she’d wanted to teach enough people the basics that the plant could be completed without her, but she’d either overestimated her teaching abilities or underestimated her students because they were nowhere near ready to handle a project this size.

No where near ready, and she was leaving tomorrow.  The door behind her opened and Tes gave a joyful bark.  His nails clicked across the floor and Roan’s footsteps approached her.  “It’s getting too cold to leave the window open,  _ ai haiplana, _ ” he murmured, wrapping his arms around her and nuzzling under her ear.

He still called her that but he’d never told her what it meant, and she never let slip that she already knew.  He used it during moments like this, quiet moments, his voice rolling through her body like a gentle wave.  He almost always called her that when they were in his bed, her limbs tangled around him, his hand carding through her hair.  She loved it then, but she hated it now.

Raven jerked backwards, hitting his broad chest with a smack.  “I don’t have time,” she grumbled.  “I have too much shit to get done before we leave.”

He released her and she felt cold, alone.  She hated that too.  “There’s a feast tonight,” Roan observed.  “You’re coming, are you not?”  

“Not,” Raven said as steadily as she could.  “Too much to do.”

“So your last night here, you’re spending with your tools,” he replied.  The warmth was gone from his voice, replaced by steel and ice.  Azgeda were a hard nation, their king a hard man.  She could have loved him for it, but she didn’t get to.  Better that they get used to that now.

Raven still hadn’t turned around.  She pretended to search through her papers so she didn’t have to see the look in his eyes, but she felt it all the same.

“I see,” he bit out.  “Good day, then.”

She waited until he was gone to pick Tesla up and bury her face in his fur.  

**

Raven couldn’t sleep.  She tossed and turned, alternately blaming the feather mattress for being too soft and the fire for being too hot, but she knew neither was the real problem.  Tesla was snoring next to her, a glaring reminder of the man she wished she could see one last time.

She wasn’t really a big fan of apologies.  They made her feel small and weak, like the tiny girl on the Ark who hid in her neighbor’s compartment when her mother got too drunk off Nygel’s swill.  But the hours ticked past and Roan didn’t arrive.  Between the two of them they had enough stubbornness to keep the Ark spinning for an entire year out of sheer spite, so one would have to break first.

So for the first time in her life, Raven decided to back down from a fight.

She grabbed the fur wrap her handmaidens had left her and shrugged it on, chosing her crutch over her brace.  Roan’s chambers weren’t too far away, after all.  She left Tesla on her bed and walked through the flickering torchlight, past the guards on their evening rounds.  They all nodded to her politely, and the guards in front of his door stepped aside without a second thought.

Roan was sleeping on his side, his back to her.  She knew he woke up when she entered— he slept lightly, a dagger never far, a hold over from his days in exile— but he didn’t turn over.

_ Fair enough. _   She probably would have done the same.  She let her wrap drop and sat down, leaning her crutch near the wall.  Peeling back the covers she slid over to him, curling her body along his length.  Raven kissed the nape of his neck, one of the only parts of his back not covered in marbled, painful looking scars, and wrapped her arm around his chest.  “I don’t want to leave,” she whispered.  It was easier to talk this way, without having to see his face.  “I don’t want to leave you.”

“So don’t.”  Roan lifted her hand and kissed her fingertips.  “Stay.”  He rolled over and pulled her into his arms.  His heart thundered under her ear and he kissed the crown of her head.  “Stay with me.”

“I can’t,” she said, broken.  “I can’t leave my people.”  Clarke was just starting to come back to them and Bellamy couldn’t handle that alone, and Monty— Monty needed more than just Miller.  She could justify leaving for a few months but leaving permanently?  They’d never forgive her and she would never forgive herself.

Roan tipped her head back and kissed each eyelid, gentle and reassuring, and then her forehead, reminding her of the first time he’d done that.  He still didn’t know she heard him then and now tears were welling behind her eyes, threatening to break her.  She rested her palm on his chest and felt him take a deep breath.  “I understand.  Better than you know,  _ ai haiplana. _  But I promise you this,” he said, pressing her hand down against his heart.  “You have a place.  Here.  Always.”

That was the first night their coupling was anything resembling gentle.  Raven loved his ferocity but tonight she needed his tenderness and that was what he gave her, moving slowly with her, his eyes locked on hers, until they both trembled.

The next morning her eyes were dry as they gathered in the courtyard to make their formal farewells.  Roan looked every inch the king and betrayed no hint of emotion as he thanked them for their help.  But before she turned to go he touched his hand to his breast, a silent promise.

Raven did the same, and then left him behind.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @youremykindagirl wanted Roan meeting Murphy.

At first, she was fine.  Raven returned to Arkadia and Sinclair immediately put her to work on fixing some receivers while he handled bringing the weather satellites back online.  It kept her busy, and when she wasn’t in Engineering she had Tesla to train and friends to visit.  Clarke was slowly coming out of her shell, still grieving Lexa but at least she didn’t flinch when anyone touched her anymore.  Monty worked alongside her in Engineering and Bellamy joined her for drinks sometimes, Gina’s loss lingering but hurting a little less keenly.

Tesla never left her side.  Sleeping or waking, he was there— something of a marvel in Arkadia, where  _ pets _ were still an abstract idea left over from before the world went to hell, a needless indulgence that somehow still called to them.  For months Raven assumed Roan’s promise that Tesla would protect her was just words but then on a rare sunny day in December Raven took him for a walk outside the gates.  Tes ran and sniffed and peed on every tree, happy and joyful and carefree, and then a twig snapped across the creek.

The change was instantaneous.  Tesla was at her side in a moment, his teeth bared, a low growl emitting from the back of his throat.  On the other side of the creek a Trikru woman stood.  She stared at Tesla, uncertain, and Raven grabbed him by his scruff.  “Down,” she ordered, but still he growled, punctuated by sharp, angry barks.  The woman had no weapons— not even a bow— and the satchel slung across her chest was stuffed with roots.  A forager, no more.  She posed no immediate threat to Raven.

“Down,” she snapped at Tesla again and reluctantly he sat.  “It’s okay, boy, it’s okay,” she soothed.  “I’ve got him,” she called to the other woman.  “He won’t hurt you.”

The Grounder backed away slowly until the sparse foliage hid her from view.  Raven turned back to Arkadia and Tesla stayed on her heels the entire time.  No more wandering and exploring for him; his ears alert to every sound.

It was ridiculous, but something about him reminded her of the day Roan met Murphy.

_ They were preparing for the assault on ALIE, Raven and Roan locked away in Engineering while she drilled him on the proper sequence of cutting wires to ALIE’s mainframe.  Murphy strolled in like he owned the place and a familiar surge of anger cut through her.  After all, she never would have even considered the City of Lights if he hadn’t fucking shot her.  “What do you want?” she snapped.  Roan looked up from the mess of wires he’d been sorting, his light eyes flashing. _

_ “Came to see if you needed any help,” Murphy replied. _

_ “I never need your fucking help.  You’ve done enough,” she spat. _

_ “I meant with ALIE.  I did steal that chip, you know.  I know things.” _

_ “Not enough not to fire at fucking flammable rocket fuel or another human being.” _

_ Murphy sighed.  “That’s what this is? I’m sorry I shot you, okay?  But I know things about ALIE, things—”   _

_ Murphy didn’t get a chance to say what things he knew, because Roan had him pinned to the wall with a knife at his throat.  “You shot her?” Roan growled. _

_ “What the fuck?  Reyes, call your guard dog off,” Murphy said over Roan’s shoulder. _

_ “Don’t talk to her.  You shot her?” Roan pressed. _

_ Murphy had the good sense to start looking a little scared while Raven crossed her arms in amusement.  “I did,  But I didn’t know it was her,” Murphy pleaded.  “It wasn’t personal.” _

_ “Yeah, because shooting at Octavia  is a whole lot better,” Raven pointed out.  “But I also don’t think antagonizing the king of the Ice Nation is a good plan, Murph.  If he wants to kill you there’s not much I can do about it.” _

_ Roan threw a glance her way, looking almost amused.   _

_ “God, I’m sorry, okay?  I am, really,” Murphy said, and the weird thing was— she believed him.  She didn’t forgive him and she’d never like him, but his remorse was sincere, even if it came while on the business end of an Azgeda warrior king’s knife. _

_ “Let him go, Roan.  I still have to walk you through planting the charges.  We don’t have time to deal with a dead body.” _

_ “Then I’ll kill him later,” Roan said, setting Murphy back down.  He even straightened Murphy’s clothes, the other man clearly too scared to stop him. _

_ “You didn’t have to do that,” she said once Murphy was out of earshot.  “But thanks.” _

_ “Any time, my lady,” Roan replied.  And somehow, she knew he meant it. _

_ ** _

Shortly after her encounter with the Grounder woman the snows and freezing rain set in.  The satellites were working and since their next major project was building a wind turbine— and that needed to be done outside, completely impossible when it was sleeting— the work in Engineering ground to a halt.  There were repair jobs here and there, but for the most part Raven was confined to the remnants of the Ark, going stir crazy.  That gave her time to think, and time to think meant time to think about  _ him, _  and every day it got a little bit harder to pretend everything was fine.

Clarke was the first to call her on it, arriving in Raven’s compartment late one night with Monty’s new batch of moonshine.  Raven took a sip and winced. “I miss wine,” she said without thinking.

Clarke sent her a sidelong glance.  “Ice Nation wine, perhaps?”  They were sitting on Raven’s cot, their backs to the wall and their legs straight out in front of them.

“Yeah, Azgedan wine,” she admitted.  Tesla hefted himself up from the floor and came to rest his head on her leg.  She gave him an absent-minded pat, wondering if he was nearly full-grown or if he would get bigger still by the summer.

“Bellamy’s worried about you.”

“Bellamy’s worried about  _ you, _ ” Raven threw back.

“Okay, well, more accurately, Bellamy is worried about everyone, but he’s worried about you in particular.  Ever since you came back this fall, actually.”  Raven shrugged, not sure what to say.  “It’s okay to miss Roan, you know,” Clarke said softly.  “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“What’s the point, though?  So I miss him.  So what?  It’s not going to change anything.”

“What would need to change?”

“For one thing, his people killed my best friend.”

“His mother—”

“Yeah, I know.  He had nothing to do with it, it was his bitch mother, blah blah blah.  Clarke, I listened to her  _ die _ .  I was the last person she spoke to, and it was someone from Azgeda who did that.”

“Bellamy told me about Gina.  I’m sorry I never met her,” Clarke said, drumming her fingertips on the tin cup. “But you don’t always get to choose who you love.  Sometimes you love someone even if— even if they did something to hurt you.”

“Could you get past it?”

“I did.  It took a long time, and there was— there was still so much between us, but I did.  In the end, I forgave her and I’m glad I did.” Clarke said.  Raven rested her head on Clarke’s shoulder, because Raven would never fully understand why Clarke loved the woman who’d caused them all so much pain, but she knew she had.  Clarke loved Lexa and then watched her die, and Raven knew what that was like.

Tesla climbed up and stretched across both their laps like he was still the tiny ball of fluff she’d gotten that summer, and not a monster approaching wolf size.  Clarke smiled and rubbed his ears.  “But even if I love him,” Raven said.  “And I’m not saying I do.  But even if I did, it’s not like we have a future, you know?”

“You don’t?”  Clarke asked her question innocently, but not quite innocently enough for Raven’s liking.

“What, you think he can marry me?  Doesn’t he have to marry someone from another clan to like, strengthen alliances and shit?”

“We’re another clan.”

“Another Grounder clan, I mean.”

Clarke shrugged.  “Not necessarily.  And we’re Grounders now, whether we like it or not.”

Raven leaned her head back against the metal wall.  “So what, I just— I just leave?  Leave all of you behind?  Because I’m in love with a fucking  _ king  _ of a different clan?  His people would never accept me.  Love won’t help me there.”

“You made quite an impression on them,” Clarke countered.  “The latest messenger said so— she was wondering if you were going to come back this summer; help them with the power plant you told them about.  Azgeda respects strength and you’re strong.”

“I’m not a leader though,” Raven said, her hand buried in Tesla’s fur.  “Not like you or Bellamy.”

“No, but you are awesome,” Clarke replied.

“Damn straight I am.”  She faked a little of her old ego and Clarke giggled.  

“You don’t have to lead them, you know.  Not like that.  They just have to respect you, and they do.”

“I’d be leaving you, though.  All of you.”

Clarke took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes.  “You would.  And I would be hard, and I don’t know— if things had been different, I don’t know if I could have chosen Lexa over everyone.  But now I’ll— I’ll never know,” she said, swallowing her hurt.  “I’ll never get to make that choice; choose her freely.  You have the chance, and Raven— there’s no guarantees down here.  You have to take what you can and hold onto it, because...they might be gone tomorrow.  If you love him, go.  We’ll be here, and it’s only a two day journey to the capital.  You can visit, and you can set up radios, and in the meantime there’s letters.  But please, if you love him— take it while you can, okay?”

Raven blinked back her tears and grabbed Clarke’s hand.  “Speaking of love...you know how Bellamy feels about you, don’t you?”

Clarke’s tears were falling freely now.  “I do.  I have for a long time, but— I can’t risk that.”

“Hypocrite,” Raven said gently.  “Didn’t you just give me a speech about taking love where you can?  Just like...two seconds ago?”

Clarke sniffled and smiled through her tears.  “You got me,” she said.  “It’s just...it’s hard, right now.”

“I know.  And you know I love you no matter what, right?”

“Right.”  At that Tesla popped his head up and licked Clarke’s chin, dragging a squeal from her that made Raven smile for real.

**

Bellamy’s take on things a few weeks later was far blunter and involved far less tears.  “You’re fucking miserable,” he said while she worked underneath the rover.

“You’re damn right I am.  What made you think you could drive this over a fucking boulder?  It’s going to take me  _ days  _ to fix the damage you did.”  She rolled out to find him leaning his shoulder against the door, arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

“I’m not talking about the rover.  You’ve been miserable ever since you came back.”

“That’s because I have to clean up after your dumb ass,” she snarked, standing up.

“Cute.”  Bellamy struggled to contain his eyeroll but then sobered.  “You deserve to be happy, you know,” he said.

Raven wasn’t quite prepared for him to be so sentimental and it caught her off balance.  “Says the guy determined to be miserable.”

“You deserve to be happy,” he repeated.  “And I might hate the bastard, but if he makes you happy…” Bellamy trailed off, gesturing for her to fill in the blanks.

“How much did Clarke pay you to say this?”

“Leave Clarke out of this.”

Raven decided to concede that point, more for his sake than hers.  “Let me get this straight: you hate Roan more than life itself, but you want me to leave here and be with him?”

Bellamy’s dark eyes flicked away, like he was considering something.  “He went back for you,” he said finally.  “When ALIE’s mansion imploded, it triggered some landslides were weren’t prepared for.  He made it back to the rendezvous and you weren’t there, so he went back for you.  I might not like him, but he saved your life.  He put you first, and that— you don’t do that for just anyone.”

No one had ever told her that.  “Oh.”

Bellamy scrubbed his hand across his face the way he always did when he was frustrated.  “Look, Clarke says— Clarke says he’s not a bad guy.  And he saved you, and— and you’re not happy here.  I’m just saying, if you’d be happier with him...I’d understand.”

“Generous of you,” she teased, because she and Bellamy did not do emotions like this and it was making her uncomfortable.

“Just thought you should know.  Whatever you decide, I get it.”

**

It was a bright March morning the day she left Arkadia.  Sinclair said the weather would hold for the next two days and the mountains were passable, so she joined a caravan bringing medical supplies to Azgeda in exchange for salted meat and fish.  She’d said her goodbyes to Monty and Sinclair the night before but Bellamy and Clarke and Abby were waiting by the caravan.  Abby blinked back tears and warned her to take it easy if her leg began to hurt, and made her promise to radio as soon as the exchange was up and running.  Abby was the closest thing she had to a mother so Raven hugged her tightly and promised to do all of those things, even if she privately resolved to ignore her damn leg as long as she could.

Bellamy gave her a brief hug and a nod, his jaw tight.  “Take care of yourself,” he said gruffly.  “You change your mind, we’re here.”

“Love you too, Bellamy,” she teased, and he ruffled her hair one last time.

Clarke was her hardest goodbye, and tears welled in her eyes as Raven looked at her best friend.  “I’m not going to be too far,” she started, and then they were both crying, clutching each other and laughing through their tears.  “But I’ll miss you.  And once the radios are working I’ll talk to you every damn day, okay?”  

Clarke nodded, still hugging Raven tightly.  “I’ll miss you too, but— be happy, okay?  You deserve it.”

“You’re damn right I do,” Raven laughed, letting Clarke go because if she didn’t let go now she never would.  “You take care of him, okay?” she ordered, tipping her head towards Bellamy.

“I will,” Clarke promised, clasping Bellamy’s hand with something like a smile.  “Now go, or they’ll leave without you.”

Raven called Tesla to her side (he was busy jumping up and down on Bellamy, much to Bellamy’s dismay) and climbed into the rover.

Her new life was waiting.

**

A cold spring rain fell as the caravan approached the market in front of Roan’s imposing palace.  Telsa was out of the rover before it even fully stopped and Raven was right on his heels, eager for a chance to stretch her legs.  Tesla bolted through the crowd, ignoring her calls and sending people scattering before his headlong rush.

He stopped in front of Roan, who crouched down with his brow furrowed.  They too far away for Raven to hear what he said to Tesla, but then he was standing up and looking around for her.  When his gaze finally settled on her a slow smile broke out across his face.  Raven’s face did the same and there they stood, grinning at each other across a crowded marketplace in the middle of a light rain.

She was back.  For good.

 


	7. Chapter 7

“Tesla, off,” Roan commanded, and Raven rolled over, only half awake.  

“Why are you kicking my dog out of bed?” She mumbled.

“Because it’s my bed too,” Roan countered.  “Tesla,  _ off, _ ” he repeated, but Tesla made no move to comply.  “I’m the king of all Azgeda.  I deserve to be able to sleep in my own bed.”

“Should have thought of that before you gave him to me.  Tesla, off,” she said and pointed to the floor.  Tesla hopped down and Roan climbed in under the covers, only for Tesla to jump back up and settle at their feet.

“I’ve lost this battle, haven’t I?”  Roan sighed and pulled her close so her back was flush against his bare chest.

“Before it even started.  What kept you?”

“Delphi sent messengers about a trade and my advisors didn’t think it prudent to keep them waiting on an answer.  And then...they wanted to talk about you.”

Raven rolled over to face him.  “Why the hell does Delphi want to know about me?”

“No, not Delphi.  My advisors.  They think our arrangement...unseemly.”

“What, you mean the fact that I walked back through your gates two months ago and we immediately started fucking again?”  Roan hadn’t even bothered to set her up with her own rooms, pretense seeming unimportant to them both.

“Something along those lines.  They think it’s time I took a queen.”

“Did they have someone specific in mind?  Or are they just worried about having an unmarried king in general?”

Roan propped himself up on an elbow to look down at her.  “I was thinking of someone in particular,” he rasped.  He traced her jawline with his finger, his eyes soft.  “What do you say?  Do you want to become  _ Azplana?" _

Raven wove her fingers into his hair.  “That depends.  Will I still be your queen?”

“Always,  _ ai haiplana. _ ”

“Then let’s make this shit official,” she grinned.

Roan tipped his head down to capture her lips with his and Tesla snuffled happily from their feet.

Life was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, everyone!


	8. Roan/Echo Outtake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @aliceofalonso requested Roan and Echo in the City of Lights.

Roan had just cracked the door to the cellar where ALIE’s backups hid when he saw her.  A hallucination, he thought. 

Because she was dead.

He had buried her with his own two hands.

But then she spoke, her voice low and smokey, just the way he remembered.  “Roan,” Echo purred.  “It’s been so long.”

Four years.  It had been four years since he’d thrown himself at his mother’s mercy, four years since he had been exiled from his people.

Four years since he’d loved her and paid the price.  She died when Arkadia and Polis clashed, mere weeks into his reign, before he had time to recall her battalion to the capital.  It had seemed so cruel to him that he would return only to lose her, but as he buried her the loss seemed muted somehow.  It had been four years since he loved Echo with a passion that threatened to scorch the earth, but his time in exile had changed him.  He wasn’t that foolish boy anymore, no more than she was the girl he once loved.  They’d changed, the both of them, and now she was gone.

Or...maybe not. “Come with me, Roan,” Echo said.  “We can be together in the City of Light.”

For a moment, he wanted nothing more than to catch her in his arms and do as she said, but he reached out and her image wavered, insubstantial under his touch.  Another woman’s words came back to him:  _ Red might try and trick you; might project images of people you love and try to get you to think they’re real.  But they’re not and if you enter the City of Light, you’ll lose everything you ever loved about them. _  Raven had spoken with the pain that came from experience, but refused to tell him whom she’d lost.   _ A boy we both loved _ , Clarke had told him on the march to ALIE’s base, but that was as much as he’d learned.  So much pain for someone so young, but that was the way of the world these days.

“You’re not real,” he told Echo.

“But I could be,” she countered.  “If you take the chip, we’ll be together.”

He wanted to— god, he wanted to believe her.  That it could be so simple, so easy.  But being in the City of Light would mean abandoning his people once again.  He’d spent so long wanting to be back with them, to protect them, and now— now he had that chance.  And he remembered someone else, a woman with dark hair and fierce eyes, a woman who regarded him with a mixture of scorn and pride.  A woman he’d sworn to protect.

A woman who was standing on a hillside, counting on him to lay these charges and come back.

With great effort, Roan turned away from his past.

His future was waiting.

  
  



End file.
